Mushy Brain

My brain is Mush. Yes, I capitalized that purposefully.

This isn't your run of the mill, over-tired mush or the everyday 3pm boredom mush. This is a new, anti-biotic resistant strain of mind-numbing, all-consuming, mental paralysis.

I am useless.

A beautiful, talented, and overall well-loved friend of mine told me she was looking forward to my blog today....

Me: oh nooo....I can't disappoint...HER! Let's rally!

Brain: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Me: okay, let's sit down and think about something profound to write about....

Brain: NOOOOOoooo! I DON'T WANNAaaaa!

Me: hmm, alright..maybe just something reasonably interesting?

Brain: blooopp bleehh bhlaaa blaaa weeee wahhhhhhhh...eehhhh

Me: anything? please? what happened this week?

Brain: I don't KNOW! Stop pressuring me, you beast! I CAN'T TAKE IT!!!! Errgghh!

Me: fine...I'll just sit here until you get yourself together

1.5 hours later.....

Brain: FINE! be that way!

30 minutes later....

Me: welp....here goes nothing...

That's just about how it went. Is anyone else with me on this? Hello? World? Do you all really just have it together? Oh you do?

Hmph...You're a bunch of liars.

Today I have accomplished virtually nothing. Let's see...

1. I helped Husband pack his lunch - which probably means he'll be dining on a meal composed of napkins, multiple forks, assorted condiments, empty ziploc bags, and whatever else I grabbed in my unconscious haze.

2. I worked out while watching Mythbusters escape from prison using a huge braid of hair...a vital life-skill I'm sure to need much more than another set of alternating crunches...

3. Since I'm not working until this evening, I haven't even showered! (I feel like most of you aren't nearly surprised enough)

4. I wrote a thank you note. Three. Whole. Sentences. Look out, literary world!

5. I realized that #3 is actually something I failed to do, so it doesn't belong in this list...GO GO GADGET INTELLECT!

6. I ate leftovers for lunch.

So there you have it! This is what life looks like without access to any of your mental faculties. (except those needed to feed yourself and refuse the societal expectation to change out of your pajamas)

What recipe am I going to integrate into this post?

Well, what else? MUSH!

Oatmeal porridge, people. More delicious than you are anticipating, I assure you.

But guess what?! I have to go to work now...Yeah, that's right. It took me all day just to write this tiny blurb. Did I not communicate my epic slothfulness today? So you'll have to wait for part two of this post for the recipe and corresponding fantastic photos...Bye!

Hi! I'm back from work! I'm serious...I can now post this to the world to declare that: Today was a fail and I'm okay with that.

Failure is okay. In fact, I encourage it. Mush makes it possible to appreciate texture. Don't be afraid of it.

I'm going to indulge in a few destroy some a large amount of salty kettle chips now - In your face brain-mush!

That's all for now folks. I'm off to defy the bleak odds of this day one bite at a time.

(Yeah chocolate chips, I'm coming for you, too.)