People will let you down, but food never will... and other lies I tell myself

I'm not a liar.

Usually.

I can manage a killer fake smile with the best of them, but overall I'm not too keen on straight-up lying to people. I even used to give my real name to sketchy guys who tried to chat me up (Fail)...clearly not too quick on my feet.

Let's see...I once found a hundred dollar bill in the parking lot of my elementary school and turned it in (true--albeit Little-House-on-the-Prairie-esque--story). I was the kind of kid who would sneak candy out of the kitchen, hide it in her room, devour it (duh) - all undetected - and then rat herself out to her parents in tears. I couldn't handle the guilt! Hmm...I'm also not very good at pranks because I lack follow-through and deceptive skills. I've never cheated on my taxes. Although honestly, I wouldn't know how if I wanted to...Thank God for Turbo Tax. (Can I get an "amen"?)

Anyways, you get the idea.

I do, however, lie to myself on a daily basis.

Examples:
"It won't be awkward watching Mad Men (or any sexually charged show) with your parents again this week."
"Husband won't notice if I skip shaving my legs...again."
"I did calf raises while brushing my teeth this morning..I totally earned this overflowing bowl of ice cream!"
"Fake eyelashes for my date night (in Bangor)? Not overkill."
"That new (full-price) J. Crew dress that so-and-so bought isn't even cute."
"Red wine totally counts as a serving of fruit."
"Being tailgated for 20 miles really makes me more alert on the road! Awesome!"


I find I lie to myself more on days that leave me disappointed with other people/myself/the weather/my wardrobe options/that teller at the bank/family/long lines...and the list goes on....

I'm not completely sure why this is, but it happens.

Oh, "defense mechanism" says the psych major? You don't know me!
..but yeah, that's probably definitely what's going on. When things are looking down, I (and I'm guessing some of you) feel the need to just make it through the day - by any means possible. That usually includes calming myself with plenty of inner dialogue (mostly lies mixed with sarcastic comments) and singing/dancing to/blasting Jessie J in my car while every observer on the road thinks I'm having a seizure.


This past week was one of those "wait...really?" kind of weeks. A combination of unexpected changes, bad news, budget maintenance, and Murphy's Law failures kept my little white survival lies in full force - to say the least. Yes, I'll shamelessly take your virtual pats on the back via the comments box.

Naturally, as most foodies will attest, when things get tough, the tough get cooking. (Isn't that how it goes?) Regardless, I ran full force to lovely, comforting, and healthy foods this week as I desperately tried to cling to my sanity and soak up any nutrients or endorphin boosts along the way.

But everyone has a breaking point. So today when Husband got home from dominating the Physics GRE Subject Test (go, Husband!) - we decided to just go for it. You can go ahead and pick your mind up out of the gutter; I'm talking about mac and cheese, baby. Not just any mac and cheese.

Roasted Garlic Mac and Cheese.

Ladies and gents, watch and drool.


Step One: Roast about 2 heads of garlic by cutting the tops off, placing them in a glass baking dish, cut-side up, and covering in olive oil. Cover with aluminum foil and bake for about 30 minutes at 325F, or until golden and soft throughout.

Step Two: Let cool, chop, and set aside.

Blurry picture? No problem! Lie! Oh, Lil, it looks better that way. So artsy...and stuff..

Step Three: Set pot of water on high heat to boil. Around Step 5 or 6 the water should be boiling. Cook 1 lb of medium shells or pasta of your choice according to box directions. Strain and add at Step 9.

COMPLETELY NECESSARY PHOTO OF DIFFICULT CULINARY TASK!

Step Four: Make a bechamel sauce. Melt 5 tablespoons butter in a large sauce pan over medium heat. Add 4 tablespoons all-purpose flour. Cook until golden brown. About 6 minutes.

Step Five: Add 2 cups warm skim milk and 1 cup warm buttermilk. Whisk continually until no lumps remain.

Do I have to?...I SAID WHISK, FRYER! WHISK!

Step Six: Add 1 1/2 - 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese. (sharp cheddar if you're not a weakling)

PRODUCT PLACEMENT!

Step Seven: Try to avoid eating shredded cheese that you are coveting...well, intensely

Get a good look folks. This is the ravenous beast that is unleashed when dairy products are near. Yes, you are all jealous of Husband, I'm sure.

Step Eight: Whisk until smooth and all cheese has been melted. Try not to drool.

Step Nine: Mix drained pasta into sauce. Add chopped garlic to your taste. I like about 1.5 heads.

Step Ten: Feel free to cyber bully Husband for snapping this sweet pic in the reflection of my saucepan...real original. Dude, did you even read my first post?

Sick pic, Bro!

So there you have it, friendys. Deliciousness: not a word, but still appropriate in this context.

I realize that the title of this post: "People let you down, but food never will," is a saying that could probably be blamed for much of the country's obesity, but I think it has some noble aspects to be appreciated. (Please don't come after me, Michelle Obama.) Now hear me out. If you had a gross week full of failure and weirdness like I did, I can promise you that this recipe will make you forget your troubles - even if just for a moment. I think there's something to be said for that.

Most of us have jobs or full-time schooling (if not both), families, bills, community activities, and homes to upkeep - not to mention errands to run, car trouble, business trips, illness, or a little of everything. I mean, give yourself a break, people! You can only run on high for so long. Eventually you will run out of steam and when you do - just give in. Not fully. Not gluttonously. Not enough to balloon up to half a ton and let your cats run your house. Give in enough to turn your brain off for a bit, stop your inner dialogue that is always busy justifying your life, and breathe.

Once in a while, just relax.

Watch Mob Wives, take a gratuitously long bath, eat a bowl of scrumptious roasted garlic mac and cheese. You deserve it, pal.