EGGcellent!....and other bad breakfast puns

Have you ever seen the show Best Week Ever on VH1? It's pretty ridiculous...It's all like, "Tom Cruise is having the BEST WEEEEK EVERRR!!! Tom grew almost an inch in his custom lifts AND ate a cheeseburger!!!"

Uh.....yay?

Quite frankly, I don't care if Blake Lively got a haircut or Ryan Reynolds bought a shirt....sorry, Ryan.

What I do care about is news of friends' successes and blessings. The beautiful baby boy born to my dearest friends, Neil and Heather; the upcoming wedding of our friend, Tyler and his sweet fiancée; the travels and triumphs of Husband's sisters, Christie and Lisa....that kind of stuff.

I'm also a little selfish and I like having victories. (I'm only human, people!)

So listen, I know we're not the very best of friends yet, but I thought you might want to hear a little about my BEST WEEK EVER!! If not, well, you can just scroll down to the bottom and enjoy my EGGceptional recipe. Har har har! Hey, puns! As promised!

Anyways, during my blogging sabbatical some amazing things happened in the Fryer house. (and yes, by that I still mean my parents' house...woo! Adulthood!)

Okay, here are the top three highlights:

1. I GOT A JOB. Yeah, a REAL job. A big girl job. Like, what I went to school for! Booyah, Sallie Mae - in your face! Who's laughing now?! Oh, yeah my loan bill....but hey, now I can actually start seriously paying it down while doing what I love.

And I do love it. Not just honeymoon phase love it. Truly, deeply, somewhat creepily, love it. I went in for my first day of what was supposed to be an internship and by 4 o'clock, they asked to bring me on fulltime....uhhh....YES, boss lady, Y-E-S please!

Not only are the people fantastic, the caliber of work superb, and the location ideal, but all of them are equally food obsessed. Yeah, could there be a better job for Lily Fryer? Professionally shopping for shoes and eating French fries on the beach? Yes, you're right. Well, if you're the CEO of the company - holler at me.

2. I BOUGHT A CAR. I know, all of you are probably thinking. "uhh, okay Lily. Let me get this straight. You live with your parents, have tons of school debt, are barely a month into a real job and you decided to prioritize buying a car?" Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. Though I don't feel the need to get all serious about my finances, Suze Orman (Your masculine, angular haircut, will not wear me down!) I will tell you that we got an insanely good deal AND sharing a car once Husband starts grad school in August would have been beyond impossible.

And let me just clarify, homegirl is not taking the bus. So hurray! Honda Civic EX-L, I love you and your leather interior. (More specifically. I love Geoff, Wendy, and Josh at Darlings Honda in Bangor, Maine!)

3. I GOT FILMED FOR THE TRAVEL CHANNEL. If you're not a foodie, you can skip this part because it probably means nothing to you...also you should probably find another blog to read because you're in the wrong part of town.

So...one of my all time favorite places to eat in Maine is Dysart's. I can't even explain the tastiness. Like if I could marry a Dysart's sticky bun...well, sorry Husband. Also sorry sticky bun, but it would definitely be a black widow marriage and your life would be cut tragically short by my need for sweet, cinnamon deliciousness....so anyyyyyways....awkward.

The show Food Paradise was set to film last week, so inevitably I had to show up. I mean as a former theatre major with a Communications degree and a passion for all things food it would have taken a tornado to keep me away ( unless it was a tornado of sticky buns, of course). Long story short, they filmed me and Jeni-cat for like 20 minutes and the producer told me, and I quote, "Uhh, wow that was perfect. You're a sound bite machine."

Bucket list - I have been to lazy to make you, but consider like three of your items crossed off with this one epic adventure. Look for me on the Food Paradise - Maine episode coming soon! And if you haven't met me in 'real life' don't be disappointed by my weird 5 octave speaking voice....just kidding! Or am I? Well, you'll have to watch and see :)

After coming off this incredible stretch of success in my own life (and the lives of those most excellent people that tolerate me as their friend) I got to thinking about what foods can lead you to your best week ever.

I couldn't come up with anything.

Hey, you couldn't expect me to ride the WIN wave forever, could ya?

But eventually, what I did think of was the best advice any parent, elementary school teacher, or pediatrician ever gave me.

"Grapes go in your mouth, not your nose." Wait, that's not it...eh, good advice nonetheless.

"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day." Yeah, that's more like it...

As we all know, a good breakfast is the best way to get the wheels in your brain a-turnin. I'm not talking poptarts, folks. Get your minds out of the over-processed-sugar-packed-gutter. And while cheerios are nice and all, you need something bigger, better, and if I may say so, more EGGciting (2 egg puns!? Genius!).

Start your week out with this breakfast egg scramble and I guarantee (in a non-legally binding, encouragement sort of way) that you'll be on the way to your BEST WEEK EVER! I mean, it'll at least be better than Tom Cruise's. Poor Tom, maybe he should have gone on a Mission Eggspossible....ehhh....

Too far of a reach, huh? ....oh well. 2 outta 3 ain't bad.

Onto the good part....

Spinach, Green Chile Egg Scramble

Step One: Combine 1 1/2 cups frozen spinach - thawed and drained - with 1/2 cup green chiles (don't worry, they are sweeter than hot and you can even buy them canned - i'll allow it) and 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese.

*Frozen vegetables, Lily? We thought you liked healthy food! I do. Frozen vegetables hold their nutrition extraordinarily well...unless they are the side in your Hungry Man dinner. In that case, put the fork DOWN.*

The incredible edible...rocks. Just kidding, eggs.

Mismatched sleeping attire is vital to optimum egg fluffiness

Step Two: Whisk 5 eggs with 1/3 cup milk. The milk makes the eggs much fluffier. Step Three: Heat large shallow pan to Medium-Low. Cover in two tablespoons olive oil. Because you are (or should be) cooking eggs at a low temp, the low smoking point of the olive oil won't be a problem.

Step Four: Pour in egg mixture. Pour spinach mixture on top. Mix gently with a fork until combined in pan.

While taking this picture I almost dumped my new ipad (courtesy of the new job) into the pan - you're welcome.

Step Five: Be patient. Most people cook eggs on higher heat resulting in a dry or rubbery egg. Low heat and less fuss will give you the best result. Resist the urge to poke around or crank up the heat. Yes, your eggs will be done faster, but they will also taste horrid. Flip with a wide spatula every so often until cooked through. The spinach will add more moisture, so don't be too worried if you see extra liquid. It will taste great.

Patience, grasshopper. Resist the urge to crank the heatz.

Worth it. So worth it.

There you go! With a few basic ingredients and some patience, you can be on your way to some of your own amazing things. Take your time. Don't turn the heat up on yourself. You'll be ready when you're ready and not a moment sooner. The wait will be worth it and you'll be better for it. Now get out there and have a week that will exceed your greatest EGGspectations!... Okay, I'm done. I promise.