Salad Remix

I've been a bit stuck lately.

Have you ever gotten stuck? Car in the deathly March mud pits of your driveway? Longest grocery store line ever seemingly filled to the brim with extreme couponers? NY gridlock in 103 degrees with no air conditioning? (true story) Impossible amounts of gum on your shoe leaving you hopping around like a deranged Mick Jagger? (yeah, also true story) Super glued fingers while fixing your mom's favorite lamp...that you broke? (mhmm...true story...I don't wanna get into it...)

Well lucky for us, those aforementioned sticky situations generally have reasonably timed ends. I mean, yes, 2 hours in line at the grocery store seems like an eternity, but at least the incessant high pitched beeping means there is a light at the end of the tabloid-lined tunnel.

But I'm not talking about that kind of stuck. I'm talking full-blown life rut.

Here are a few of the ruts I've been in lately:

1. Eating chocolate (or other assorted things) after 10 pm. - Delicious failure is still failure. A) Go to sleep, Fryer! What are you doing awake at 11:30? You think you're some kind of spring chicken?! B)You remember that insomnia trouble you've been having? Here's a hint: the cure is not peanut butter toast OR cheese and crackers...(or those weird cookies that you're pretty sure are from Christmas, but are too proud to ask about) 

2. Procrastination - Yes ladies and gentlemen, the beast of my college years has risen it's slothful head yet again. I swear I'm not against doctors, it's just so much work to pick up the phone and make an apt....yeah, dumb.

3. Isolationism - Well, actually I'm not exactly avoiding foreign policy...I'm not important enough for that. I've just been an overall homebody, too nervous to ask anyone to do anything for fear of being rejected (Drinks after work? With you? Oh uhh...I have to wash my cat's hair....or vacuum my dishes...or something)

4.  Ponytails - Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate a sporty up-do, but it's getting ridiculous. Like, I have seriously worn one 28 of the last 30 days. This is not a joke. Sadly, that's been my only option...since I haven't gotten my hair done by a professional for 6 months...trust me, it's bad. 

Ruts are generally bad things.

Emotional ruts make you a torment to yourself and everyone you encounter...You become either relentlessly depressed ("yay for emo friends!" says NO ONE) or obnoxiously manic (no one believes you are that chipper all the time..we're all just waiting for you to go ballistic.) No, I'm not here to judge. I have proudly been both of those at one time or another. (or lots of times)

Physical ruts usually involve extremes like working out every day at 4 am to Insanity/P90X/other-terrifying-routine-of-death and developing an actual rut...you know what I'm talking about..like that cavern in the center of your creepy rippling abs. Sorry people, but nobody likes the look of the that Grand Canyon between your bulging muscle pockets (too descriptive?...probably) Some folks go to the other end of the spectrum and end up making their own personalized rut...shaped like their buns... on the cushion of their favorite spot on the couch...Yes, I have also been both of these people.

Dietary ruts are the worst of all. Honestly, what is worse than eating the same thing..every. single. day. ?? My Dad is one of those freaks who finds solace in culinary monotony. (LOVE YA DAD!) He likes his lunch consistent (and boring): carrots, pretzels, and protein bars. Ew. (STILL LOVE YA!) I am not a fan of this. I enjoy variety and I get very resentful of certain foods if I don't get it. (Stay away from me, black bean salad. We're still not on speaking terms.)

I think we all need something to refresh our palette: Emotional, Physical, and yes, Dietary (my favorite).

Since I don't know all of you lovely readers intimately, I figured I'd start with the dietary. Quite frankly I'm not equipped to craft physical or emotional reboot plans, but I can whip up a mean fruit and veggie salad. That's gotta count for something, right?

In any case, this salad is far from ordinary and sure to pop you right out of any food rut you may have developed. Eating cereal every morning got you down? Constantly disappointed by bland salads after painfully choosing them over more caloric (delicious) options? Villainous fast food egg sandwiches haunting your dreams? Starting to actually believe that the frozen lunch you're microwaving is real food??

Say no more! This salad was the first step in my road to rut recovery. Try it as a breakfast, side salad with lunch, or late afternoon power snack. It's refreshing and unexpected, which is just what you and I need.

Carrot Apple Salad and Lemon Dressing

Step One: Grate/Shred 6-10 carrots depending on size of the carrot/group you're feeding/how fearless you are with a mandolin blade or grater. My fingers barely held on for all 10 carrots, but hey, at least I still have all 10 fingers.

Step Two: Grate/Shred 2 large Gala or Fiji apples. Trust me, these are the absolute best. Red delicious fans, be quiet.

Step Three: Combine shredded ingredients with 2/3 cup of craisins (dried cranberries for those of you that have yet to discover these tasty morsels).

Step Four: Juice two medium/large lemons, add 1 tablespoon agave nectar (or sugar if you're not as hip as the kids are these days), 1/4 teaspoon salt.

Step Five: Whisking constantly, add in 1/4 -1/2 cup (good) olive oil depending on your affinity for tart flavors. Obviously I'm biased. (emoticon wink)

Step Six: Pour over salad and fold in. Enjoy one less day eating frozen waffles for breakfast! 

After feasting on this salad, working out in the fresh air, making fun of the P90X infomercial, enjoying a coffee date with my husband, and FINALLY getting my hair done (see evidence below), I started feeling a bit better. 

Look ma! No split ends!

So let me keep it short and sweet for you, friends.

Take some time to refresh your palette. Do something unexpected. Get out of your daily pattern and take a risk. 

Reach out to that neighbor who's name you still don't know. They'd probably like a friend just as much as you would and if they don't - you should probably move. They're most likely an anti-social murderer..... Just kidding! If they aren't receptive, make that chocolate cake. If they still aren't receptive - yeah, you should move....definitely a murderer. 

Gotcha again! Some people are just mean, but at least you tried. At least you reached.

Smile at a stranger...maybe start with that angsty cashier at the grocery store - you've got to have some sympathy (all those damn coupons!). If you start smiling when you don't feel like it - eventually you'll feel like it.  :D ( <-- just like that guy)

Leave the Hamburger Helper on the shelf (or incinerate it...all of it...please) and make this salad. I promise you'll feel at least a little better.

Jeni-Cat

This Sunday is Mother's Day and I'm feeling so sneaky.  Through lies and well-planned trickery, I deceived my dear mother on what I would be writing about this week...

**SURPRISE MOM!**

This week I am dedicating my post to you and all your maternal glory!

For those of you who know me outside of the cyber universe, you probably also know my mom. Although she is most commonly confused as my sister or general-gal-pal-BFF, 

This is why...

Left = MOM  Right = SISTER

I promise you she is indeed my biological mother...and I have the creepy birth video to prove it.

She defies genetic science and laws of human aging, but somehow I still love her. (Even when 90% of people we meet insist I must be her sister...thanks world, but I'm 24)

My mom's name is Jeni.

Yes, J-E-N-I. (much to the dismay of her elementary school teachers who insisted she needed an extra 'N') 

Most people call their mothers things like:

"Mom" (if you're a typical kid)

"Momma" (if you want something)

"Mommy" (if you REALLY want something - or are just annoying in general)

"Ma" (if you're Southern)

or maybe 

"Ma'am" (if you're REALLY Southern or part of a cult)

But I call my mom Jeni-Cat.

I'm actually not a huge fan of cats and neither is she.

However, we have a strange familial sense of humor and it's all pretty well encapsulated in this:

One day, my mom accompanied me and a few friends to Good Will. (I love me some bargains) We found an object that was so hysterical and terrifying that it had to be purchased. (Those of you who have shopped at GW will know that this is not a unique event) This object became the mascot of our house and currently resides on my bookshelf. We named it Jeni-Cat.

The perfect name for something that brings us all tons of laughs, reminds us of fond memories, but somehow still strike us with fear out of pure respect....(or should I say "purr" respect? hardy har!)

BEHOLD: Jeni-Cat...not sure what's going on with the gourds, but yes, she's a candle.

All that to say, my mom is one of a kind. 

A gem. 

A woman beyond compare.

She's taught me a lot and since seeing Jeni-Cat in that shrine-like picture is putting me in a fantastic mood, I thought I'd share some of her wisdom with you.

My mom has taught me that:

1. you don't have to pay full price to feel like a million bucks.

2. sometimes it's okay to eat because it tastes good and not because you're hungry.

3. being bald can still be beautiful with the right attitude.

4. a sense of humor is invaluable.

My dad rocking my mom's wig: See #3 and #4

5. every stage of life is different and there are treasures to be found in each.

6. a really good burger is one of the greatest joys of life.

7. once in a while you just need to cry it out.

8. street smarts are just as important as book smarts.

9. contrary to popular belief, investing yourself in your faith is worth it.

10. loving people is more important than being right.

11. a little leopard print is a wardrobe necessity.

12. resting and taking care of yourself is not a waste of time.

13. worrying about the future is just borrowing trouble.

14. no matter what anyone tells you a woman should look like, you are beautiful.

15. if your favorite song comes on, dancing in the grocery store is completely acceptable.

16. you can't pick your family, but you can adopt other wonderful people into it.

17. chocolate and peanut butter were made for each other.

18. snorting when you laugh should be encouraged.

19. living in fear is worthless.

20. you can accomplish anything with the right pair of shoes and a smile.

21. the right man WILL treat you like a princess.

22. the ocean is one of the most peaceful places to be.

23. prayer works.

24. homemade pizza should be eaten at least once a week.

25. with sweet and sour moments: life is tart. yes, she was my inspiration for this blog (and basically everything else I've ever done)

While mulling over these pieces of advice both comical and endearing, I realized (yet again) how incredible the role of a mother is and how remarkable the women are who undertake it. For many of my dear friends, this will be their first Mother's Day. For some, the journey has only just begun and for others, like myself, motherhood is still being observed from the receiving end. 

So...Ladies and gentlemen, here's to our mothers! A recipe fit for the high tea of Queen Elizabeth...or the queen of your proverbial castle. It's 2012 people, our moms definitely share the ruling of the roost and should be treated as such.

This recipe also happens to be one of Jeni's all time favorites.

LEMON SQUARES! 

Just like the life that our darling mamas help us navigate it's got a little sweet and a little sour. And just like them it's layered and dainty while still packing a punch of flavor.

And let' be honest, like any baked good, our moms are also able to withstand the firey temperatures of an inferno and emerge not only unscathed, but somehow improved and solid....Ladies, I tip my hat to you with this scrumptious recipe.

Step One: (Preheat your oven to 350) beat 3-4 tablespoons softened butter (depending on how buttery you like your crust...I obviously added 4) with 1/4 cup sugar until creamy.

Yum! (butter) with guest appearance by Ah! (knife)

Step Two: Gradually add 1 cup of whole wheat pastry flour or whole wheat all purpose (or white flour if you don't care about your health...tsk tsk) until mixture is crumbly. Press into 8 x 8 baking pan.

Step Three: Bake crust for 15 minutes. Let cool.

Buttery crust, I love you.

Step Four: Beat 3 eggs until foamy then add 3/4 cup sugar, 1/8 teaspoon salt, 1/3 cup lemon juice, 1 tablespoon lemon zest. 3 tablespoons flour, and 1/2 teaspoon baking powder.

Culinary newbies, this is a zester. Use it carefully. This recipe does not call for finger zest.

Step Five: Pour mixture over partially baked crust and bake for an additional 20 minutes or until set up.

Step Six: Sift powdered sugar over the cooled pan, cut into squares and remove.

Step Seven: Deliver to your mom accompanied by her favorite flowers/crossword puzzles/fly fishing lures/or whatever your mama digs and a hand written note thanking her for putting up with your runny noses, eye rolls, and adolescent idiocy. (If you're still an adolescent, thank her nonetheless because trust me - you are an idiot - and hopefully she'll continue to resist the urge to kill you before you emerge a relatively competent young adult)

 

 

 

And to you Jeni-Cat, I'm proud to be your kitten.

I love you. 

You make me stronger.

You challenge me.

You're honest with me. Always.

You're laugh is fantastic.

You are my best friend.

Happy Mother's Day.

I love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living your baby I'll be.