Sweat the Small Stuff. No, really.

The sun is shining. It's going to be a balmy 73. I accomplished my work out early this morning and loved every second of the glorious 4 miles. My cocoa butter body wash has left my skin smelling like vanilla pudding......

And I could spit nails. 

Seriously, I'm about to take my earrings out and smack this day in its stupid face!

Do you have these days? The kind of days where in reality things seem quite peachy, but for some reason you are caught up in a Hulk-like rage that can only be quelled by copious amounts of reality TV and the safety of your bed? 

.....Well, maybe the remedy differs, but you get me, right?

No, thank you condescending readers, but it is not "that time of the month" nor am I grouchy due to some crash diet or "cleanse" (if any of you actually had that thought cross your minds you must be new to this blog). 

I'm just annoyed at life today.

It all started last night when Husband and I made our almost nightly trek to the kitchen for a post-dinner-pre-breakfast snack. I had already decided on my morsel of choice. Envisioning the perfect bunch of bananas that sat poised on my counter gently calling my name, I walked into the kitchen. AH! To my utter dismay, the bananas that I had anticipated dipping into melted dark chocolate were spattered with brown spots of death. Premature browning! NOOOOO! 

Cut down in the prime of their lives!

So I suppose my anger was still ruminating around my brain when I passed out watching Storage Wars drifted off to sleep, which must have resulted in my proverbial poo colored glasses today. 

Here I shall outline my list of grievances that have since been noted:

1. The lovely (and rare) professional manicure I got with my sister for her birthday has now been irreconcilably chipped.

2. My hair takes WAY too long to dry and leaves my neck feeling cold and clammy.

3. Sam's Club had NO bananas (yeah, I buy my bananas at Sam's - don't judge) . Thus, I am resigned to return home and stare into the mushy brown skin of my precious bananas as they succumb to a slow death by oxidation and humidity.

4. The damn birds are SO loud this time of year. I mean, I get that you're excited to be alive and all, but puh-leez SHUT IT while us normal non-birds are sleeping at 3 am.

5. I had to eat a tomato sandwich for lunch. ONLY tomato. Doesn't Sky Mall sell a grocery shopping robot by now? It's 2012, people. Get on that.

Okay that's enough of that. As you can see, I was in quite the state when I started this day. I felt incapable of accomplishing anything while in such a foul mood....so I didn't. I sat for about 30 minutes doing nothing.....except mindlessly picking at my already ruined manicure and watching the Barefoot Contessa make scrambled eggs....

It was then that I realized how simultaneously obnoxious and blessed I am. 

It doesn't take a licensed psychoanalyst to figure out that these problems are miniscule in the grand scheme of life -- in fact it only took Ina Garten a few minutes of whisking to snap me out my funk.

So here it is: Not to get too morbid on you all, but there was a time when I seriously wondered whether or not my mom would be alive to see me graduate. Yes, she rocked that bald head, but I like her much more with her glossy brunette locks and health intact. 

Since the C word took our lives for a turn, my family developed a new life philosophy: 

It could always be worse. 

I know, we're not always the most creative bunch...but that's what we say...and it's the truth. 

What we (and you) consider our worst day is what others would consider their best. How many people would LOVE to be complaining about nail polish instead of being told that they need 4 more rounds of chemo? I've already been in on that kind of conversation and let me tell you - nail polish wins.

I'm not trying to guilt you all. This is not a diatribe against having a comfortable life. I'm just trying to point out that sometimes when there is nothing to complain about - we make problems for ourselves. I would place every penny I ever earn on the fact that all the grievances I listed (and all the rest of them I kept to myself - you're welcome) would never have drawn my attention under more trying circumstances.

Quite frankly, sometimes my mom annoys me with her chronic optimism (as I'm probably annoying some of you), but I'm thankful for it.

Knowing how lucky we are makes me realize that being annoyed is really a luxury. It allows us to really go for the drama sometimes - just for the fun of it. For example, "Oh. My. Gosh. This lemonade I paid 3 bucks for is SooOOo diluted! Where is my sugar in the raw, Jeeves??" 

It can actually be fun. For example, "Oh. My. Gosh. This diluted lemonade is so much better than drinking cement!"

Once you realize that you are no longer dealing with life and death real-life drama and fear, it makes everything else a cake walk. So go ahead, sweat the small stuff - just because you can! For real, if my biggest problem today is a chipped manicure....well, in the immortal words of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (your welcome, Husband) "Right on! Righteous! KOWABUNGA!" ....and all that other exuberant surfer-type stuff.

I can choose to love everyday and make it into something better. What's more, I can actually learn to love my petty problems, my daily annoyances, the close talker in the elevator, the There's-Something-About-Mary-thing my bangs do when I wake up, even gross bananas....

You know how the saying goes, "if life hands you brown bananas, make banana cake!"

Another cake?? I know, I know, but it's really more of a really spongy banana bread. Go with it.

Step One: Preheat oven to 375. Whisk together 3 cups of flour (I already scolded you all about white flour, don't make me tell you twice) with 2/3 cup of sugar, 2 teaspoons baking powder, 2 teaspoons baking soda, 2 teaspoons cinnamon, 1/4 teaspoon salt.

Step Two: Mash 6 bananas (give or take a banana) by removing them from their skins like so...

 Get a Masher of some type....Like this....

Available at your local torture implement store...or Homegoods, whatever.

 Mash the heck out of those buggers...

This shot goes out to any babies that read my blog. Looks tasty huh?

Step Three: Mix mashed bananas (should yield about 2 cups) with 1 cup non-fat (or low fat if you want to live on the edge) sour cream, 1 cup plain fat free yogurt, 2 lightly whisked eggs,  1/2 cup canola oil, 2 teaspoons vanilla extract.

Step Four: Pour batter evenly into two greased 8x8 (or 9x9) glass baking dishes (or metal pans).

Step Five: Bake for 30-40 minutes or until golden on the top and solid through (test with a toothpick, don't wiggle the pan, you silly kids). Let cool. Or don't...Just try not to give yourself third degree burns on your esophagus like I probably did...oops.

So tomorrow, when you sleep through your alarm and are frantically brushing your teeth in the shower to try avoiding tardiness at your job, be thankful you have a job to be late to. Then indulge yourself a little drama and loudly lament to your husband/roommate/sibling/parakeet. Oh, and grab a slice of this cake. It makes a great breakfast, too. Or at least it's better than cement.  

People will let you down, but food never will... and other lies I tell myself

I'm not a liar.

Usually.

I can manage a killer fake smile with the best of them, but overall I'm not too keen on straight-up lying to people. I even used to give my real name to sketchy guys who tried to chat me up (Fail)...clearly not too quick on my feet.

Let's see...I once found a hundred dollar bill in the parking lot of my elementary school and turned it in (true--albeit Little-House-on-the-Prairie-esque--story). I was the kind of kid who would sneak candy out of the kitchen, hide it in her room, devour it (duh) - all undetected - and then rat herself out to her parents in tears. I couldn't handle the guilt! Hmm...I'm also not very good at pranks because I lack follow-through and deceptive skills. I've never cheated on my taxes. Although honestly, I wouldn't know how if I wanted to...Thank God for Turbo Tax. (Can I get an "amen"?)

Anyways, you get the idea.

I do, however, lie to myself on a daily basis.

Examples:
"It won't be awkward watching Mad Men (or any sexually charged show) with your parents again this week."
"Husband won't notice if I skip shaving my legs...again."
"I did calf raises while brushing my teeth this morning..I totally earned this overflowing bowl of ice cream!"
"Fake eyelashes for my date night (in Bangor)? Not overkill."
"That new (full-price) J. Crew dress that so-and-so bought isn't even cute."
"Red wine totally counts as a serving of fruit."
"Being tailgated for 20 miles really makes me more alert on the road! Awesome!"


I find I lie to myself more on days that leave me disappointed with other people/myself/the weather/my wardrobe options/that teller at the bank/family/long lines...and the list goes on....

I'm not completely sure why this is, but it happens.

Oh, "defense mechanism" says the psych major? You don't know me!
..but yeah, that's probably definitely what's going on. When things are looking down, I (and I'm guessing some of you) feel the need to just make it through the day - by any means possible. That usually includes calming myself with plenty of inner dialogue (mostly lies mixed with sarcastic comments) and singing/dancing to/blasting Jessie J in my car while every observer on the road thinks I'm having a seizure.


This past week was one of those "wait...really?" kind of weeks. A combination of unexpected changes, bad news, budget maintenance, and Murphy's Law failures kept my little white survival lies in full force - to say the least. Yes, I'll shamelessly take your virtual pats on the back via the comments box.

Naturally, as most foodies will attest, when things get tough, the tough get cooking. (Isn't that how it goes?) Regardless, I ran full force to lovely, comforting, and healthy foods this week as I desperately tried to cling to my sanity and soak up any nutrients or endorphin boosts along the way.

But everyone has a breaking point. So today when Husband got home from dominating the Physics GRE Subject Test (go, Husband!) - we decided to just go for it. You can go ahead and pick your mind up out of the gutter; I'm talking about mac and cheese, baby. Not just any mac and cheese.

Roasted Garlic Mac and Cheese.

Ladies and gents, watch and drool.


Step One: Roast about 2 heads of garlic by cutting the tops off, placing them in a glass baking dish, cut-side up, and covering in olive oil. Cover with aluminum foil and bake for about 30 minutes at 325F, or until golden and soft throughout.

Step Two: Let cool, chop, and set aside.

Blurry picture? No problem! Lie! Oh, Lil, it looks better that way. So artsy...and stuff..

Step Three: Set pot of water on high heat to boil. Around Step 5 or 6 the water should be boiling. Cook 1 lb of medium shells or pasta of your choice according to box directions. Strain and add at Step 9.

COMPLETELY NECESSARY PHOTO OF DIFFICULT CULINARY TASK!

Step Four: Make a bechamel sauce. Melt 5 tablespoons butter in a large sauce pan over medium heat. Add 4 tablespoons all-purpose flour. Cook until golden brown. About 6 minutes.

Step Five: Add 2 cups warm skim milk and 1 cup warm buttermilk. Whisk continually until no lumps remain.

Do I have to?...I SAID WHISK, FRYER! WHISK!

Step Six: Add 1 1/2 - 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese. (sharp cheddar if you're not a weakling)

PRODUCT PLACEMENT!

Step Seven: Try to avoid eating shredded cheese that you are coveting...well, intensely

Get a good look folks. This is the ravenous beast that is unleashed when dairy products are near. Yes, you are all jealous of Husband, I'm sure.

Step Eight: Whisk until smooth and all cheese has been melted. Try not to drool.

Step Nine: Mix drained pasta into sauce. Add chopped garlic to your taste. I like about 1.5 heads.

Step Ten: Feel free to cyber bully Husband for snapping this sweet pic in the reflection of my saucepan...real original. Dude, did you even read my first post?

Sick pic, Bro!

So there you have it, friendys. Deliciousness: not a word, but still appropriate in this context.

I realize that the title of this post: "People let you down, but food never will," is a saying that could probably be blamed for much of the country's obesity, but I think it has some noble aspects to be appreciated. (Please don't come after me, Michelle Obama.) Now hear me out. If you had a gross week full of failure and weirdness like I did, I can promise you that this recipe will make you forget your troubles - even if just for a moment. I think there's something to be said for that.

Most of us have jobs or full-time schooling (if not both), families, bills, community activities, and homes to upkeep - not to mention errands to run, car trouble, business trips, illness, or a little of everything. I mean, give yourself a break, people! You can only run on high for so long. Eventually you will run out of steam and when you do - just give in. Not fully. Not gluttonously. Not enough to balloon up to half a ton and let your cats run your house. Give in enough to turn your brain off for a bit, stop your inner dialogue that is always busy justifying your life, and breathe.

Once in a while, just relax.

Watch Mob Wives, take a gratuitously long bath, eat a bowl of scrumptious roasted garlic mac and cheese. You deserve it, pal.